Quiet Today

I am sitting here at home, quietly reading email, Facebook, and blogging...who ever would have thought! What a way to put down ideas and thoughts for the whole world to see. I can't believe the quiet. The cicadas and crickets are singing a chorus to me through the back patio window. It is getting dark so early. I am waiting for Doug to come home....no pets, no children, no noisy guitar playing or piano chords billowing from the other rooms, no TV on, just quiet and the soft clicking of the computer keys as I type. Why does the quiet make me slightly anxious? It's like I'm waiting for something to happen, or for someone to come home, to have company. It must be hard to be alone all of the time. I'm not used to it...though I've often longed for this. I will turn my attention to the message of the moment....the quiet message that this day is going quickly past me...this day I have had to enjoy and work and live. I give gratitude to God for the ability to reflect and then ENJOY the peace and the quiet. AMEN to that!

My Family

I am absolutely in love with my family today!  I appreciate each and every one of them and love them so much! We recently had a family party to welcome our new grandson, Jack!   It was one of those rare moments these days when we were all together.  Matt was home from NYC.  Michelle was here with Jack and Brian, and Mike was still at home before his adventure to Kenosha.  I just felt so complete with all of us there together!  It was a very beautiful day....not just the weather, but the sunny feeling in my heart and the love I felt for everyone.  "It was a sunflower day!"

Down is Up! (Maybe)

"Maybe down is up!"  This is a comment a friend of mine made to me the other day when we were discussing the disappointing behavior of our children as they are making their way through adolescence and young adulthood.  What I think she meant is:  When they go down, and make unhealthy decisions, there is only one way to go once you hit the bottom, and that's up! (Hopefully!)  I've been observing my son, Mike, go through yet another transition in his life, yet another new beginning.  Today he's writing songs that say, "It's all right, it's all right". Maybe I make too much of that phrase, hoping that this time things will work out well for him. 

Doug and I were talking last night and both of us are still feeling like we must discipline him or "control" the outcomes of this recent attempt to give him his wings.  I think I have really come to the point of complete surrender.  My job is done.  I believe I did it well.  I'm not writing him off or ending our relationship, but I cannot be in control or be the "parent" in the same way I used to.  It is time for him to fly on his own. This is my prayer:

I pray that God will watch over him as he starts again at college, this time in Kenosha at Carthage.  I pray that he continues to grow in his relationship with his girlfriend and that he makes new friends.  I pray that he seeks out spiritual guides and a healthy lifestyle. I pray for him to find out who he is and how he can be in the world on his own terms in his own way but in a way that seeks God's plan in all of this. I pray he finds some peace.

There.  I've prayed it...I no longer control it.  It is in God's hands.