“Are you
excited or scared to meet your new little sister, Dottie?” I ask as I smile
down at my four-year-old grandson while we are eating chicken nuggets at a
local favorite restaurant.
“Cited!”
he grins up at me and adds, “When I was a baby, I was scared and wanted to come
out ‘cuz it was dark in there!”
“Do
you remember that from when you were inside mommy’s belly?”
“Uh-huh!”
He smiles.
“Dottie’s
coming out TODAY?” asks my seven year old granddaughter.
“Maybe.”
I say, not really knowing myself if this was going to be the day. My daughter, at the end of her pregnancy, had
gone into the hospital with her husband to be monitored with talk of
artificially inducing her labor early the next morning. I wasn’t sure what was happening at that
moment, but knew a precious new life would be here soon.
The
kids quickly finished up their chicken and ice cream, played in the playroom
for a few minutes, even the ten year old, who is way too big to be in
there! My husband and I watched the
sunset out the window and tried to imagine what the night would bring for our
daughter, and for this family.
We
safely made it home to my daughter’s house as I received the text that they
were going to keep them overnight and start the induction in the morning. My daughter, Michelle, wanted me to bring her
packed overnight bag and other miscellaneous items that she hadn’t packed yet
to the hospital as soon as I could. I had
some work to do! As quickly as I was
able to, I got the kids home, showered and bathed and in bed by about 9:00
pm. This was a record! They even got
their teeth brushed!
The
older grandson was upset because the TV wasn’t working, (I think the cable was
out…) but he finally crawled into bed with his tablet and was relaxing quietly
in his own room. The younger two wanted me to lay with them, each of them
wanting me to lie next to THEM! I finally convinced them to let me lie in the
middle and make a “Grandma Sandwich”.
They were okay with that and we discussed what kind of sandwich I was.
“You
be the ham, Grandma, and we will each be the bread!”
“NO!
You’re the cheese, Grandma!”
“I’ll
be peanut butter and jelly, how ‘bout that?”
“Okay.” They finally agree. I settle in next to them both and close my
eyes and try to relax. I’m feeling very
anxious as I lay there, wanting to get going to the hospital “sooner rather
than later” which are the words from my daughter’s text message. I try to pray for my daughter as I let out
slow, calming breaths, trying to calm my own nerves and settle my body so these
two precious ones next to me will sense my calmness and fall asleep. I whisper
aloud the prayer that I always said with my own children before sleep,
“Jesus,
tender shepherd, hear me..
Bless
Allie and Kellan and Jack tonight. (and Dottie…I think silently)
Through
the darkness keep them safe,
‘Til
morning’s light….Amen”
Before
too long, their breathing slows and I can feel the excitement and tension flow
out of them. Quietly Allie asks me, “Will Dottie be here in the morning?”
“I
don’t know for sure, honey. In a few
minutes I’m going to leave to go to the hospital to check on mommy and daddy
and Dottie.”
“I
don’t want you to go…”
“I
know, just close your eyes and I’ll be back here tomorrow…”
She
lets out a big sigh, then shortly I hear her slow even, relaxed breathing and I
think she is finally asleep. The younger
one is already sound asleep hugging his “Pete the Cat” stuffed animal. After about 10 minutes, I carefully scooch
feet first towards the bottom of the bed, slip out from between them and
carefully sit up on the edge of the bed.
They are both sleeping soundly and moving very slowly, I get up and out
of bed to gather the requested items and get on my way. I am trusting grandpa to stay here and manage
the rest of the night.
Before
I leave, I open the door to check on Jack and say quietly,
“Are
you still awake?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m
getting ready to leave to go to the hospital to be with mom and dad. Okay?”
“Will
you pick us up early tomorrow from school?”
“I’m
not sure, but if Dottie is here, and everything’s good, we will. I’ll keep
grandpa posted on what’s happening.”
“Okay,
goodnight Grandma, love you!”
“Love
you too, goodnight!”
It’s
interesting how babies always seem to want to come in the middle of the
night. I say a quick “Goodbye” to my
husband and load all of the requested items into the car. My daughter had packed a diffuser and some
essential oils to use during labor as well as her phone charger, wireless ear
buds and a few other things that would not have been a part of my “labor” pack
when I had her back in 1979. Things are
certainly much more technological now!
My mind is full of memories and thoughts as I drive to the hospital
which is about 40 minutes away. There is
little traffic at 10:00 at night, so I arrive in good time, “sooner rather than
later”…
The
room is semi dark when I enter, and my daughter is sitting on a large exercise
ball rocking back and forth. She has
hired a “Doula” to help her manage the labor this time, and she is slowly
rubbing her back and speaking to her softly.
I ask how she’s doing and give my daughter a gentle hug. It seems like things are going along okay,
but nothing has really started yet, although she shows that she’s having mild
contractions on the monitor.
This
is my daughter’s fourth delivery. She is
strong and determined. She wants to have
few, if any interventions in her birth.
She wants so much for this delivery to go as naturally as possible.
Anxiety and fear have kept her from feeling she was capable, though. This last year has been a struggle with some
unusual health issues and the pregnancy on top of all of that. So that’s what I pray… I pray for her to get
through this without any extreme interventions and no complications…so anxious
to hold another granddaughter in my arms!
As
the night went on, Michelle’s labor continued to get stronger and harder. In
spite of this a sense of peace settled in the room. Katy, the Doula, was a constant support and
reassurance for both my daughter and her husband. (He’s more of a sports coach
than a labor coach!) I was acting as backup support and constant reassurance
that all was going well.
My
daughter has such a remarkable ability to go deep into her own place of concentration
during labor. She put on her wireless
headphones and played her own special music as she dealt with the contractions
as each one got stronger and harder than the last. At one point she looked up at me with her
big, brown eyes and said to me,
“Make
this stop, Mom, I can’t do this anymore!”
When I saw that look, and heard
her words, I knew it was getting close.
“You’re
doing awesome, honey! You are doing it! Let go, let her come..” Is all I could say to her, as I held her
hands and looked her in the eyes.
“Just
take one at a time, and go with it…”, Katy added.
Michelle
began to moan and get visibly agitated. Katy suggested that she take deep
breaths and try not to hold her breath.
Michelle was beginning to push involuntarily. Brian moved close by as we
waited. Moments later the doctor came
running, out of breath, into the room, put on her gloves and gown, briefly
checked my daughter and announced,
“I
guess we’re going to have a baby!”
It’s
a sacred moment when a new life joins the world! When I think about what that moment was
really like, all I can remember is that I looked around me and took it all in.
I savored the moments, the slippery tiny body that entered the room with her
fierce presence, the cry that brought her first strong breath, the tears and
the cries of joy. I was standing on sacred ground. As I watched their faces, I saw relief, joy,
amazement and pure love as that tiny precious little girl joined our
lives. She is healthy and perfectly
formed. As I saw her laying in her mother’s arms looking up at her, all I could
do was look up toward heaven as tears streamed down my face and say, “Thank
you!”
Every
time it’s a miracle.
Dorothy Parker Clarke
7 lbs. 4 oz.
20” long
October 2, 2018 3:47 AM
Gail Mehlan
October 2018
