Courage

As I was listening to the president speak of what he thinks needs to be done to stop or slow gun violence in our country, I heard him use the word “courage” and it echoed in my mind and heart as the word I NEED for 2016.  The president spoke of young Zaevion, who as a senior in high school, was shot protecting his friends during a drive by shooting in the city. He died before he even had a chance to live his life to its full potential. So sad and senseless.

“We are not asked to do what Zaevion Dobson did.  We’re not asked to have shoulders that big; a heart that strong, reactions that quick.  I’m not asking people to have that same level of courage, or sacrifice, or love.  But if we love our kids and care about their prospects, and if we love this country and care about its future,then we can find the courage to vote.  

 

We can find the courage to get 

mobilized and organized. 

We can find the courage to cut 

through all the noise and do what a 

sensible country would do.

That’s what we’re doing today. 

And tomorrow, we should do more.  
And we should do more the day after that.  
And if we do, we’ll leave behind a nation 
that’s stronger than the one we inherited 
and worthy of the 
sacrifice of a young man like Zaevion. “ 

-President Barack Obama

“The courage to vote…the courage to get mobilized and organized…the courage to do what a sensible country would do…”  These words resonated strongly with me because in reality, I am a coward.

Oh…I have strong feelings about all of this! I care SO much about what is happening in the world and in the cities of our country.  I am sometimes afraid to speak out or get involved because I don’t know enough, I’m a suburban white kid who doesn’t know much about the struggle of those who live in cities… or even in the rural areas of our country, for that matter. I don’t know what it’s like to be of a faith that is not mainstream and well accepted. I do know what it’s like to be in a foreign country and to learn a new language and I think I know of the struggle of immigrants, but not from a real level of experience. I don’t know what it’s like to love someone and not be able to get married because I am of a different sexual orientation…. I don’t…I don’t really know about it. Any of it.  But I hear about it, have feelings about it and I care about the people who are touched by these issues. 

But I really don’t have much courage to act, to change, to DO anything.

You see, I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, but I do choose a new word each year as MY word for the year. I focus on the word, draw inspiration from quotes with that word, meditate upon it and LIVE it. Each year I let go of the last year’s word, but it is still engraved upon my heart and stamped firmly in my brain.

“For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.” ― T.S. Eliot

HOPE

INSPIRE

IMAGINE

LOVE

So I say goodbye to these positive words of past years and make way in my head and my heart for the new word this year. 

COURAGE

I say this prayer often when I attend my weekly meeting.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I have come a long way in being able to accept things as they come and life on life’s terms.  I am hardly ever surprised by anything that happens anymore in my life and KNOW that the only person I can truly change in myself.  This is where I run into trouble, though. I have given up trying to change anyone or anything, even myself. This means that basically “I’ve given up!” I have lost the courage to be myself and to change what I can change or influence.

 I cannot NOT try anymore.

I pray that I’m never called upon to have the courage that Zaevion had or even a fraction of it.  I often wonder if the Sandy Hook school shooting had happened in my school when I was teaching…if I would have had enough courage to face that with any type of courage at all. My feeble attempt to even comprehend that level of courage seems almost ridiculous.  I do think, however, I need to have some level of courage to face each day. I cannot allow myself to be afraid.

There are many ways and areas that I NEED to have some courage this year.

They are simple things, hardly worthy of being called courageous, except they are very personal for me. Small in the grand scheme of the world…Big things for me.

We recently moved from our suburban life near Chicago to a more rural area.  And even though we live in a suburban type subdivision, it is out in the country.  The residents who live here are mostly farmers.  The stores, library, restaurants, movie theaters, etc. are all about a half hour drive from our house.  No more running out to the store for an egg if you’re in the middle of something I’m getting used to that. But being in a new place has required me to have more COURAGE.

I need COURAGE to…

Get out of my comfort zone and meet new people.  It takes effort to make new friends at my age (63)!  I’m retired and so I don’t have the luxury of making connections at work.  I have volunteered a bit and I need to keep pushing myself to do that so that I can continue to do this.  I have finally found a new faith community and we have some wonderful neighbors and this has been a wonderful thing for me. But it still takes courage to go deeper with new people, and share my faith and my feelings.  It takes courage to be authentic. It takes courage to become involved and I need courage in 2016 to continue on this journey.  It will also take courage to get involved with the causes that my faith community supports. 



There are so many people in our very own community that need help and compassion; refugees, interfaith groups, the LGBTQ community and all of  those in need, financially, physically, and emotionally.

To face my physical limitations. I am discouraged by the physical limitations that I have at my age, such as arthritis and a heart condition.  I need COURAGE to accept these limitations and continue to move through life with grace and acceptance even if it is a bit more slowly that I want it to be. I need to seek my connection to the earth in different, creative ways. My “camino” (path) is different, but I’m walking it nonetheless!

Stay active and take care of my physical body and nutrition.

Even though I have some physical limitations, I have been exercising at home and doing better with my nutrition.  I need to keep eating well and to push myself to keep going. If I am to become more involved with the community, I need to be physically capable on many levels.  My 4 active grandchildren need me to be moving about with them and enjoying them before they become teenagers and don’t want to spend time with me anymore!

Step out of my comfort zone on issues that are politically charged, and speak my mind, in love.

I have always tried to stay away from issues that are politically or religiously charged because I don’t want to offend anyone.  I take the president’s words seriously.  I will vote in the primary and I will vote in the election.  If I don’t like someone’s words on Facebook or social media, I will formulate a response that is in line with my beliefs.  But… I will try always to be KIND and THOUGHTFUL and use REASON.  I will use MY OWN WORDS and not just “like” something or “share” something.  I need COURAGE to tread upon these tender, yet volatile areas with my new friends and neighbors. I truly don’t want to lose any new friends this year, or old ones for that matter! (God, I NEED COURAGE!)

Support my family through the tough, HARD things.  I need COURAGE to stand by my family as we face LIFE together.  Some things are easy, fun and loving. Some things are very difficult and sad.  Sometimes we disagree or are disappointed in each other.  I want my family to know where I stand on things, but also, to know that no matter what is going on….I stand firm in my LOVE for them and support them unconditionally. I’m not afraid to face life’s challenges head on, but will do so with love, creativity and COURAGE.

To pursue my dream to travel, to go to SPAIN again and to visit other parts of the USA that I long to visit.

Recent terrorist events all over the world have triggered fear in so many Americans. I am determined to NOT be afraid!  The thoughts of fear will always go through my mind, but I need to be able to travel while we(Doug and I) are healthy and able, retired and financially able to afford this. Pursue your dreams with courage!

To continue to write about life and my feelings about it.  Last year I vowed that I’d write something each week…. Then I changed that to each month….well….I kind of stopped when life got busy and summer came.  I just didn’t get to it regularly.  I miss it and I know that one way to speak my mind is through my writing.  I have so many memories, stories from the grandkids, and family tree history to get working on.  I need COURAGE to write and write often.

If I ever find myself in a position to risk my life protecting someone that I love, I hope I never have to have the courage of Zaevion. I  still don’t know if I would have it in me, but I hope so. I know the Lord would be with me and work through me in His own way, in spite of my shortcomings,   I have found a few ways to have COURAGE in 2016.

2 Timothy 1:6-7

“6 For this reason I remind you to fan the flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”