Translate

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

God with us!


"Behold the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel." which is translated, "God with us."Matthew 1:23


I'm sitting listening to Christmas music on the radio,there are  many songs about the baby, Jesus. This is Jack's first Christmas with us and I must confess it is truly one of the miracles of God to hold a baby in your arms. (At least for me!) God was pretty wise, of course, in coming to us in the form of a newborn baby.  He knew that we are all so drawn into a baby in our midst.  I'm actually sitting with Jack right next to me and he is looking at me, smiling, and grabbing for my glasses! It's the smile that grabs the heart! When we were at the mall the other day, many people stopped and engaged in pleasant conversation with the baby and he just smiled and cooed in baby talk right back the them...so cute, so loving, so innocent. I cant' imagine any miracle more profound than the birth of a child...at least none that I've experienced.  I was in awe at each of my children's births and the birth of my grandson.  Isn't each and every birth special?  Truly God's love for us in the birth of his son and the celebration that we engage in, is worthy of special attention.  God with us.

I love the chaos of having all of my children home.  Wild as it seems in the morning or around mealtime,  I am relishing in the sounds of them all being here, home. Things are a mess here, there are clothes, dishes, people all over the house.  Just when I feel overwhelmed, I tell myself I love it, I will survive.  God with us.

The pets my daughter brought with her remind me of the craziness that Mary and Joseph must have experienced in the stable behind the inn.  The animals make noise chase each other around, demand attention, need to go out into the cold, have their feet wiped off....if you have animals, you get the picture.  The smells, the noises, all add to the chaos but also add to the atmosphere of home.  God with us. 

Even the beautiful snow that continues to fall outside brings its own beauty and splendor, a celebration of its own!  God reminds us that He is in control of all of the universe, the splendor and the terror of weather out of control.  I see the clean, white snowflakes falling nonstop and think of God's power, God's ability to cleanse us white as snow. Beautiful, mysterious, God's presence made known to us yet again.  God with us.

Early this morning, I had a few moments alone with God.  I savored the time.  The lights on the Christmas tree made me feel like it was a special time.  In the quiet, in the silence, I felt His presence in my life.  I am grateful.  God with us.

So this Christmas, as you hold a baby in your arms (borrow one if you have to!), spend chaotic family time with those you love and don't often see, enjoy and care for your pets, look out at the wintery weather, or spend time alone with God,  rest assured that He is in our midst each and every day!  

Blessings to everyone this Christmas eve!


Saturday, November 29, 2008

Skeletons new album, Money

Rich people think they are wise, 
but a poor person with discernment 
can see right through them.
Proverbs 28:11

I am the recent recipient of a wonderful gift, my son, Matthew, has just released a new CD and he left one on the table when he was in town with his band to do a show in Chicago.  I opened the CD one morning and took one look at the inside cover artwork and was immediately appalled. The drawings on the inside of the CD were in my opinion, pornographic and inappropriate.  I was immediately turned off and put the CD down.  I did not listen to it on that day, not for many days actually,....I did not understand.

Several weeks later, at the end of their tour across the country.  Matt's band was again in Chicago and I had the opportunity to go to see him perform live in a bar in downtown Chicago. I usually don't venture out to these types of situations, but on that day, I decided to support my son and see what this was all about.  On the way downtown, my younger son, Mike, popped the CD into my player and we listened to it in the car on the way to the show.  I must admit, I was pleasantly surprised by the music.  I promised myself that I would write a review of his music from my personal perspective....his mother.  It should be interesting.  I don't know if I will ever understand it completely, but I do know that music is very personal and that I can hear my son's lament in the words and tones of his music.  About this, I will attempt to write on this blog.  

The first impression that I have is that the music on this CD cannot be compared to any other music that I have heard.  There are many sounds that come through the speakers and the way they flow together is just part of who my son is.  Matt has always taken sounds...like the horns from the traffic in NYC to the birds chirping in the back yard and blended it into his music.  The "music" is a mixture of his own inner rhythms, drum beats, chords, sounds, and clanking radiator pipes.  Some critics have likened the music to jazz, and there is some of that feel to it.  It also is a noisy blend of sounds, instruments, chords, and irregular beats.  I resonate with it as it sounds a bit like my own irregular heartbeat.  Matt has always, since he was a very young child, been able to  put sounds together in interesting and unusual ways.  I admire this talent of his.  Some of the music is not easy to listen to.  Some of it is loud and dissonnant.   Some of it is jazzy.  Some of it is sweet and pleasant.  All of it is Matt and his fellow band members, expressing their  own sound, their own way.  Some of it I don't understand, but I do find it interesting.  My favorite tune is track 8, "The Masks".  I' ll speak of that later.   I am no music critic, however,  but I do appreciate the artistry and the poetry of this album.

The first few lines of the CD are softly sung by my son as a lament for the lack of " things" in his life...in fact the entire CD is a lashing out and a frustration against the draw of material "things" in his life.  He sings:

Fill my pockets FULL

maybe if I prayed the sun would shine for me? take away all the things that trouble me?
Fill my pockets FULL 
my fridge with food to eat?
but I don't have the time.

I believe that Matt is struggling to survive, literally, to have enough money to pay the bills, buy food, and have a roof over his head.  Somehow the things he wants to do in life have become attached to the need to have enough...enough of the "Things" he needs. He doesn't want to "sell out" to the media...to the materialistic world and compromise his music, his style, to be what the world tells him to be. Somehow prayer doesn't seem to be a priority to him...or maybe there is not enough FAITH there, to accept that God will and does provide.  He has and He will. 

As I said earlier, I interpret this whole CD as an outcry against the materialism of this world. Even the distasteful inner packaging with the pictures I find so outrageous  are a wrap up of the whole SEX, MONEY and PACKAGING, that it takes these "things", false pretenses, outward signs, money, to survive in this world. The pictures have a certain "shock" value because when you open the CD you don't expect it.  It also sends a message that the material within will be something "enticing" when it is not about that.  "This" is really about  "That".  It always seems to work that way.

In God's word we find almost the very same message: 1 Peter 3:3-4

Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, 
expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.  
You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within,
the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which is do precious to God.

I'm sure my son will cringe as I compare his lyrics to Bible verses, but I did make a connection there and this is where I am at in my life.  I especially felt this message on Track 3 where the lyrics speak of the 

blackest of the berries lie closest to the ground the weight of their 
juice brings all the branches down 
the best form a pillow for the rest to fall down 
on and on and on and
THEY'RE USING YOU!

as a rung
each step a fleshy one
the bees are just there 
to scare you.

As I attempt to interpret that in my "motherly" manner, I perceive the "blackest of the berries" to be the best and the juiciest ones.  These end up on the ground and the rest of the berries land on top of them.  The line "THEY'RE USING YOU!" makes me think that the song refers to being good, either good in your soul, or good at what you do, and having others use you for their own benefit.  The "bees" that fly around and annoy and scare you, but don't really do you much harm.
These "bees" could be little small annoyances that can get you down, scare you, but really don't do you any harm.  It's the other berries you need to watch out for!  I'm not sure that I have it right, but it is an interesting thought.  As I mentioned, this is interesting music with thought provoking lyrics.

On track two, "The THINGS", Matt writes of the way the large "Things" in life overtake you slowly without really noticing the changes.  

The THINGS
you don't even notice slides in all glacier like. you like the 
moment that catches on like a grease fire.
But it breathes down your backhand whispers in your ear 
and tries to tell you
things
tell you THESE things

Perhaps the "THINGS" he is referring to is that inner knowledge of how to handle the things of the real world.  How to get things, how to  manage things, how to achieve things, how to know what life is all about.  It is that illusive knowledge that we never realize we have...like we think someone else is so much smarter about life than we are....we waste a lot of time trying to get somewhere that we fail to see how far we've already come.  We want to get things...but we look past what is in front of us!  I think I understand that feeling.  The "THINGS" are the secrets of life that we cannot really figure out.  Matt's lyrics continue:

the parents of your parent's parent's parents know
THESE THINGS
the children of rich men know 
THESE THINGS

THINGS this big move so slow you can't tell they 
move at all.

As Matt's parent, I for one have not figured these "THINGS" out.  Perhaps Matt thinks we have things figured out...but we don't know anything, really.  For me, being able to give my uncertainties up to the God of my understanding, helps me when the "THINGS" are just too big for my little human brain and body to process.  Some things are just too big for us to know.  I think the lyrics also refer to a larger than us reference:

I've seen the moon get bright and act like a searchlight looking for all the things
lost in the night, looking for the dead men stuck to the river's floor,
looking for reasons, looking for reasons, looking for...

Perhaps the moon and the searchlight are metaphors for a God...I'm not sure...perhaps just for man searching for reasons....constantly searching.

Daniel 2:22

He reveals deep and mysterious
things
and know what lies hidden in 
darkness,
though he is surrounded by light.

Maybe I have the answer that works for me, that helps me understand.  Perhaps I don't.  I believe that Matt is still searching and hoping that there is a "searchlight" out there looking for reasons.

Track 8 is by far, my favorite.  It is a soft, sweet tune and the words are beautiful. Matt's singing is clear and emotive.  I like that.  This song speaks of coming into yourself and feeling comfortable in your own skin...knowing your true authentic self.  

you got my time if you want it you got my faith too, to do this
we'll build a home in the space around us
no matter how small the room
then your act becomes true
the masks melt down

It is really a love song, too....about a love so deep that you can be your true self in that place you share together.

You can only act so much when a love gets deep.

I don't know why this song touched me so...perhaps I am just so mainstream that the soft sweet melody and the pretty lyrics just touched me.  I hope you'll take a listen to this song.  http://www.skeletons.tv

One other song on this new album is worth mentioning as well.  I think of it as a "HOPE" song.  I am a big fan of hope.  I always find something to be hopeful about.  This song is called "STEPPER" and is track 4.  It has a great rhythm and interesting lyrics as well.  It really speaks of keeping on in the face of continual struggles.  All he hoped for was a big box of "Normal", but never got it.  Instead he says:

I don't even care if I bump into whatever's near I'm gonna keep moving!
I'm not one to give up you know me better than that!
I'm working!
I need that check at the end of the month.
I'm gonna keep moving!
I'm gonna get paid enough to survive so I quit complaining for once  in my life.

So he's going to keep moving forward, working hard, getting by, I just hope he doesn't lose sight of the joys of the here and now.  It was fun to be in Chicago and to see all of the young people who came to support him and his music.  Many of his friends from childhood who are still in the Chicago area came to the show.  It was a great moment, a reunion of sorts, and I think we all need to  stop and relax and just be in the moment.  I saw my son do that as he performed his music...lost in the sounds and the production of it.  It was a good moment for me to see as his mom.  For me, seeing him in his element, was a "sunflower moment"...one of those rare moments when you can see that things are as they should be, for the moment, and you can enjoy something different just for what it is.

So, if you want to listen to something very interesting and musically its own rare breed, feel free to visit their website.  Skeleton's "Money" has been released by Tomlab.

(Hey, Matt,  know that I love you and that I don't really understand what it all means, this is just my take on it.  I enjoyed it!  Take it for what it's worth but not too much too heart.)









Monday, November 17, 2008

Another Quiet Evening

The In-laws, Two Special People
Here I sit again, another quiet evening and I'm enjoying it.  Peaceful.  I've checked out the latest blogs about my son's band, Skeletons, and their new CD recently released called "Money".  Very interesting, but I don't understand.  

I'm reading emails and surprisingly, some of the stuff that is shared really touched my heart! One of my friends was speaking about her mother in law who just recently passed away on Saturday. She regretted that she had never told her mother in law how much she appreciated her for the many reasons that made her special.  
Now she is no longer with them.

I began to think.  Have I communicated to Doug's parents just how much I love and appreciate them?  Have I thanked them for raising a good man, a good father, a wonderful husband? Have I let them know how much I appreciated being welcomed into their family and accepted as a daughter in law?  Have I told them that they have had such a powerfully positive influence on my children?  I believe I need to do it today...or very, very soon.  Life is too short and we take these special people for granted sometimes.  Doug's dad is recovering from pneumonia and is in the hospital right now.  Why is it so hard to speak the things that are on our minds in the present moment?  Why do we choke on these words of love and reflection until often it is too late?  I pray that God will give me the chance to speak these kind words to Doug's parents before it is too late.

I just hope they don't think I'm being weird!  (I guess there are worse things to be!) I'd better get on it!  PEACE!

Monday, November 3, 2008

A Prayer for our Nation

I am not much of a political fanatic at all, but tonight, on the eve of a very big election, I feel the need to just add a prayer for our nation to the airwaves.  No matter the outcome of tomorrow's election, I know that our country, government, president-to-be and all persons involved in government need our constant uplifting of them in prayer.

God, bless our nation as we go forward tomorrow and vote to choose a new president that we all do so with the best of intentions and a positive hope for the future.  Help us all to accept the outcome and support our new president, whatever the outcome be.  Keep our country strong and focused on helpful and positive agendas that further the rights of all Americans.  Bless our new president and hold him firmly close to you as we move into a new administration.  Amen

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Face to Face with Mortality

Last week I was driving home from work.  It was a beautiful, cool, sunny fall day.  I was listening to the radio and minding my own business.  At a stoplight, as I was waiting for the light to change and the traffic to move on, I was rammed from behind by a Ford 150 pick-up truck! After the hit from behind, my car slammed into the car in front of me as well...so I was hit on both ends.  For a moment I just sat there and stared into space....a bit shaken up, I finally got out of the car and came face to face with the man who hit me and the woman who I hit.  I took one look at my car and suddenly felt so sad.  I really have an emotional attachment to that car!  As the paramedic checked me out, he said to me, "Cars can be replaced, you cannot be!  Are you all right?"  Yes, I was and I am.  I have been thinking about my own mortality though during the past few weeks and months.  Maybe I am feeling like I'm on the other side of the hill now, heading for the grave someday.  I always thought that would be later rather than sooner, and I hope it will be, but I doubt that I will live another 56 years!  So I am getting closer to that time.  I know I am not afraid...it's just that I'm not ready yet!  Things can happen so quickly!  I sat on the grass the other day, just praising God for protecting me and keeping me safe....for now!

Psalm 23

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall not fear for thou art with me..."

Thanks be to God for walking, (and driving) with me!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Birthday Ruminations

Today is my 56th birthday.  I am now closer to 60 than to 50.  The sound of the numbers is appalling to me as I actually don't feel that much different than the me at 25, 30, 40, 50...the decades march on.  How can I be this old?  I had a great day at school with the kids.  They are so sweet and so happy when they are celebrating a birthday. They all wanted to give me gifts, and a few did.  So very thoughtful and so very unnecessary.  I know most of the families cannot afford it! I was touched by their thoughtfulness anyway!  One of my students sent me a card that said, "Happy Bird Day"  and I laughed so hard, I almost lost control of myself.  It was just so cute and so typical of my ELL students! What fun!  

It is nice to be remembered and loved.  I can go to sleep tonight feeling special.  My own children called me as well...I'm sure they had a bit of prompting from their dad, but a call is nice none the less.  So far, it has been a great birthday!

My favorite Psalm, has the line in it:

"Your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."  Psalm 139:16

I feel like my days have been numbered.  56 years full of days and nights and they keep on coming.  I wish more of them could have been "Sunflower Days", but even with the difficulties, I can honestly say that more of them were than were not.  Part of what makes a "Sunflower Day" is just being aware of the good and stopping and enjoying the time we have here.  God has written it in his book....let it be!

I received a card from a friend that I haven't seen for awhile.  She must have stopped by and dropped it between the doors while I was gone.  I wish I could have seen her.  I am surprised she remembered my birthday.  We used to be neighbors and saw each other regularly.  Now life just seems so busy.  There really is no excuse for not taking the time to look at the flowers, or our friends, or our loved ones. I don't know what my excuse is....I just need to do it!  Happy Birthday to myself.  I have had a happy day! I hope you have had one too!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Quiet Today

I am sitting here at home, quietly reading email, Facebook, and blogging...who ever would have thought! What a way to put down ideas and thoughts for the whole world to see. I can't believe the quiet. The cicadas and crickets are singing a chorus to me through the back patio window. It is getting dark so early. I am waiting for Doug to come home....no pets, no children, no noisy guitar playing or piano chords billowing from the other rooms, no TV on, just quiet and the soft clicking of the computer keys as I type. Why does the quiet make me slightly anxious? It's like I'm waiting for something to happen, or for someone to come home, to have company. It must be hard to be alone all of the time. I'm not used to it...though I've often longed for this. I will turn my attention to the message of the moment....the quiet message that this day is going quickly past me...this day I have had to enjoy and work and live. I give gratitude to God for the ability to reflect and then ENJOY the peace and the quiet. AMEN to that!