Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thess. 5:16-18
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| In the end... |
Tomorrow it will be Thanksgiving Day. I am packed and ready to leave to go and visit my daughter, her husband and our precious grandson Jack, in Indiana. I ought to feel happy and excited, but instead I am finding myself feeling resentful and sad today.
I have a dear friend who is dying. This simple thought makes me angry and resentful and very, very sad. I wish there was something that I could do. I have been thinking about this verse from Thessalonians 5:16-18. "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you..."
In ALL circumstances, Lord, in ALL? As I watch my friend struggle for each breath and heard her moan with the pain and the frustration of cancer...I question the advice. Give thanks in all circumstances? Are you kidding me? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Come on!
I'm not feeling it! I have angry feelings...like why? What good can possibly come out of this struggle that she is facing now. I kept telling her to be "strong and courageous", and not "afraid"...that "God is with you wherever you go!" (Joshua 1:9) But today I am not feeling like it settles well. For what? This is just so hard to watch. Today I am leaving to go see my grandson, the light of my life. I will be with people who I love and people who need me to share this day of thanks with them. Yet in spite of that my heart is breaking for the family of my dear friend...and I don't know how to be "thankful in all circumstances" with this aura of sadness and fear of death surrounding me today.
My prayer today is: Lord, help me find ways to be thankful for all of the many blessings you have bestowed upon me. One of the wonderful blessings has been the life of my friend, who is suffering right now. When I look at it that way, I can see a thin sparkle of "thankfulness" breaking through the darkness that I feel right now.
I am so very thankful for my friend. We have been friends for a very long time. She came into my life because of the friendship between her daughter and mine when they were in first grade at Churchill School. Her daughter was in my Brownie Scout troop and they played together often. She was always there for me to assist with whatever I needed and to help me with my younger boys while I was busy with the girls. We had numerous outings with the kids over the years, up to the lake, biking to a nearby restaurant for lunch, shared birthday parties, creating playhouses out of boxes, sitting at many baseball games together, walking in the mornings for exercise....then the trouble started for her. Her marriage fell apart and she moved out of our neighborhood. We remained friends and would touch base with each other about once every month or so, just to stay connected. She has struggled with finances and job changes over the years, but always stayed positive. When she discovered she had breast cancer, I tried to be there for her when I could and she seemed to pull through it. Our daughters friendships changed and so did ours, but we always stayed close and I always knew she cared about me. She has been a faithful friend. After thinking about all of that, I know that I am thankful for her life and the time that we had together. We have some wonderful memories! I am thankful that I can be present for her, at least a little bit, in the last few weeks. I am praying for a miracle for her today, Lord, a miracle.
I have observed her children, Lord, as they have gathered around her to love and support her in the last few weeks. They have truly been amazing and loving! You have sent so many loving friends and family members by to see her and love her. I know she has been loved by so many. For that I am thankful as well. She always was searching for the "love of her life"...and that always seemed to elude her in the romantic sense of the word, but in the sense of "love", she has it all...her 3 children, friends, and family have rallied around for support and encouragement.
So, I go now, too, with an attitude of LOVE and THANKSGIVING...for my friend, for love and for the hope that soon she will be free from the sickness that cancer has brought upon her.
I was out walking this AM and heard this song from the David Crowder Band. It expresses my hopes for my friend as she faces the end of her life.
In The End (Oh Resplendent Light) :
In the end when all of this is gone
And all that's living has moved on
The sun and moon will finally set
The wind will lay the seas to rest
In the end when all our souls will rise
All the nations, all the sides
Will feel the need for that dark place
For I and thee in His embrace
In His shadow there is peace
In His arms there is rest
In His word there is hope
In His hands there is grace
In the end, no hurting
In the end, no yearning
In the end, no suffering
No sadness or pain
In the end
To the end when all of this is gone
And all that's living has moved on
The sun and moon will rise and set
The wind will bring the seas to rest
To the end when all our souls will rise
All the nations, all the sides
Will feel the need for this dark place
For I am loved and this is His embrace
In His shadow there is peace
In His arms there is rest
In His word there is hope
In His hands there is grace
To the end, there's hurting
To the end, there's yearning
To the end, there's suffering
You're waiting and waiting
Oh to the end...
Oh to the end...
When it's dark
Souls will shine
When it's dark
We will rise
We were made to live forever...
We were made to live forever...
We will live to live forever...
We will live to live forever...
In the end what it all boils down to is LOVE. I believe that my friend has been loved like she wanted to be. She is a special person and I am still praying for a miracle!
Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times...
