Face to Face with Mortality

Last week I was driving home from work.  It was a beautiful, cool, sunny fall day.  I was listening to the radio and minding my own business.  At a stoplight, as I was waiting for the light to change and the traffic to move on, I was rammed from behind by a Ford 150 pick-up truck! After the hit from behind, my car slammed into the car in front of me as well...so I was hit on both ends.  For a moment I just sat there and stared into space....a bit shaken up, I finally got out of the car and came face to face with the man who hit me and the woman who I hit.  I took one look at my car and suddenly felt so sad.  I really have an emotional attachment to that car!  As the paramedic checked me out, he said to me, "Cars can be replaced, you cannot be!  Are you all right?"  Yes, I was and I am.  I have been thinking about my own mortality though during the past few weeks and months.  Maybe I am feeling like I'm on the other side of the hill now, heading for the grave someday.  I always thought that would be later rather than sooner, and I hope it will be, but I doubt that I will live another 56 years!  So I am getting closer to that time.  I know I am not afraid...it's just that I'm not ready yet!  Things can happen so quickly!  I sat on the grass the other day, just praising God for protecting me and keeping me safe....for now!

Psalm 23

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall not fear for thou art with me..."

Thanks be to God for walking, (and driving) with me!

Birthday Ruminations

Today is my 56th birthday.  I am now closer to 60 than to 50.  The sound of the numbers is appalling to me as I actually don't feel that much different than the me at 25, 30, 40, 50...the decades march on.  How can I be this old?  I had a great day at school with the kids.  They are so sweet and so happy when they are celebrating a birthday. They all wanted to give me gifts, and a few did.  So very thoughtful and so very unnecessary.  I know most of the families cannot afford it! I was touched by their thoughtfulness anyway!  One of my students sent me a card that said, "Happy Bird Day"  and I laughed so hard, I almost lost control of myself.  It was just so cute and so typical of my ELL students! What fun!  

It is nice to be remembered and loved.  I can go to sleep tonight feeling special.  My own children called me as well...I'm sure they had a bit of prompting from their dad, but a call is nice none the less.  So far, it has been a great birthday!

My favorite Psalm, has the line in it:

"Your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."  Psalm 139:16

I feel like my days have been numbered.  56 years full of days and nights and they keep on coming.  I wish more of them could have been "Sunflower Days", but even with the difficulties, I can honestly say that more of them were than were not.  Part of what makes a "Sunflower Day" is just being aware of the good and stopping and enjoying the time we have here.  God has written it in his book....let it be!

I received a card from a friend that I haven't seen for awhile.  She must have stopped by and dropped it between the doors while I was gone.  I wish I could have seen her.  I am surprised she remembered my birthday.  We used to be neighbors and saw each other regularly.  Now life just seems so busy.  There really is no excuse for not taking the time to look at the flowers, or our friends, or our loved ones. I don't know what my excuse is....I just need to do it!  Happy Birthday to myself.  I have had a happy day! I hope you have had one too!