Matthew 12:34-37 (NIV)
“A genuine leader will never exploit your emotions or your pocketbook.”
Matthew 7: 15-20 (MSG)
Words Matter
Why did I hit “share” on Facebook the other day? It only served to rob me of my sleep and my rest. It’s probably because I care too much what others think of me, when what they think is really “none of my business”. The result was an instant backlash for me. Perhaps I am too sensitive, but when my daughter texted me and said, “Your post was a bit harsh, mom. Can you please take it down?” I needed to re-evaluate what I’d posted. So, I printed out the article and I re-read and considered very carefully what I had posted. I called my daughter later and we talked it through. She has extended family and many close friends who are Trump supporters and she felt that they might be upset about what I posted. She felt it might have been misinterpreted by her friends and because I am her mom, a reflection on her as well. In trying to be understanding and compassionate to my daughter and her family, I took it down. It had been posted for a little less than one hour. “I am a Facebook fool!” I wrote in my journal that night. My mind was in a tizzy as I continued to think about what I had shared. Was I wrong? I took down the post, but the words still resonated with me. Was I being a coward? A link to the article I posted is at the end of this post.
I had been feeling that those who are on the “other side” of my political stance have attacked my faith. I have a right to feel the way I feel as well as express what I feel! I was experiencing a bit of self-righteous anger. My beliefs were being challenged and the repercussions of my sharing were rocking my emotions and I felt desperate to remove the fear and settle my anxious soul.
The article I shared was what I thought was a good one. The title, “Essentials for Dealing With Christian Trump-Supporters” caught my eye. There was so much good in this article. It helped me explain to myself what I was experiencing and had some excellent points for me to consider. At first read, it did not seem to be hateful or “harsh” as my daughter claimed. I hit “share” expecting that people would read the whole thing and glean some understanding of my position from it. The fact is, though, that these were someone else's words and not mine. I probably should have thought twice and said a prayer before sharing publicly. I will share what resonated with me about the article.
The first essential is: Understand, You Won’t Change Their Mind
The author states that if you think you’ll change their mind about voting for Trump, “you’ll be pitching a tent in the land of disappointment and frustration”. How true. That is not my goal, either. I do, however, agree that I can try with tact and sincerity to “be true to “ myself, to stand “in solidarity with those who are oppressed or have little-to-no voice” and by “chasing evil out of the shadows”. Chris Kratzer says, “A change of mind most frequently happens when there has been a change of heart. A change of heart happens best when there has been an experience that causes the person to genuinely consider the possibility, “Maybe I’m wrong?” And as he goes on to say, “their change of mind and heart isn’t up to you, and certainly, it’s not your responsibility.”
For me, I think one of the best suggestions given in the article was to use questions to get to the core of what Trump supporters think. The author states that we must “as much as possible, stay calm and collected” and repeat this question often, “Help me understand…” “Help me understand how…”, “Please…help me understand why you think the way you do.” Don’t become the one who takes the low road with quick retorts and a sharp tongue. Listen, be open. Consider their thoughts as much as your own. Respond carefully.
The second essential is: Stop Talking About Jesus
This is the section of the article that got me into trouble and the part that was considered harsh and accusatory. The author states that if the support for Trump was about Jesus, they “wouldn’t be a right-wing conservative Christian and they wouldn’t support Trump.”
In a nutshell, all I can say is that the author does seem to go on a tirade about all the ways that a Trump supporter could not be a Christian if they support Trump because of their selfishness, racism, failure to love their neighbor, hate, brutality, inhumanity, and their 'talk 'of loving Jesus at the same time.
This is where I need to reconsider that this article could be construed as harsh. I don’t think we can judge others on their faith without seeing the log in our own eye. No one wants to hear all the ways that they are not following Jesus, even if it’s true. Jesus calls all of us out on so many things. He tells us not to judge others and this section, the article was judgmental. I fell for it because I am guilty of feeling the same way. After watching the Republican National Convention and listening to the speakers claim Jesus as savior over and over and aligning their faith with Trump and his party, I felt that my faith had been hijacked. I have a hard time saying that I am a Christian these days because I disagree with so many of the ideas presented. I thought if I heard the phrase “God bless America” one more time I would throw up because I felt it was a slap in the face of someone who does love America, but doesn't agree with their stance. It felt fake. It felt insincere and used as a political slogan. It seemed to me that they were claiming Trump to be the “Christian” candidate. They were also claiming "America" and it's flag as theirs. I cringed at the lies and untruths that were spoken about me because, of course, as a current democrat, I did take it personally. I feel that there is selfishness, racism, and a failure to love others that are “different from us” coming from the Trump campaign. I see inhumanity too. I also see and hear all of the lies.
The fact of the matter is that I can NOT be the judge of each one of the Trump supporters individually. I must not condemn them, rather pray for them and love them with the love that is so much larger than I am. This love can only come from God. I pray that God can help me do what I cannot do myself. Reading the words of Jesus from the book of Matthew has helped me and humbled me. Maybe what we really ought to do is to start talking about Jesus, using the words of Jesus. Jesus uses his words to teach us difficult truths, and it doesn't matter which side of the political debate you are on. As my pastor said on Sunday, Jesus' stories can warp and change for us as we read and study them over and over. We may not interpret them in the same way now as we did when we first heard them. His math is not our math. He sometimes speaks in riddles that are not easily understood. Even if we don't understand at first, we must listen and heed his word which is often contrary to what we think we know about it. His words are worthy of study and contemplation. He is speaking to ALL of us.
“Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.” -Matthew 5:11 (NIV)
“When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.” – Matthew 5:37 (MSG)
“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”- Matthew 5:44 (NIV)
“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.” -Matthew 7:15 (NIV)
“Do not think I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” -Matthew 10:34(NIV)
“He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for my sake will find it.”-Matthew 10:39
“Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”- Matthew 10:31
The third essential is: Take The Abortion Card Out Of The Game
This one issue seems to be the big one for many Christians who support Trump and although they may not like some of Trump’s attributes and have a distaste for his past, they are loyal to him because of his anti-abortion and pro-life position. As Kratzer says, “…this issue supersedes all other issues. They argue that the protection and preservation of the most vulnerable of human life is paramount.” Kratzer believes that Trump is using this card against abortion as “the last card in their deck, and it, too, is the ultimate bluff.” Using abortion to gather votes from sincerely concerned Christian believers seems to top every other issue surrounding the value of life.
In Chris’s view, the value to a pro-life stance for Trump followers is that it is also a stance that is against the “full fruition of women’s equality, the sexual accountability of white men, and the cessation of their religious dominance to dictate the lives of all others.”
For me, the issue is much deeper than just the horrible idea that men want to take charge of women’s health and bodies and dictate what they can do about reproduction than it is about being pro-life. Life is precious and as a progressive woman, I want to control what happens to my own body both sexually and reproductively. I would never have chosen to have an abortion myself, but I am not sure that I can tell others what is right for them. I am also a woman, as Kratzer states, who greatly dislikes “the subjugation of women’s rights, the denial of science, and the belittling of medical truth.” Black lives matter. Every life is in fact precious and the fact that over 200,000 lives have been lost in our country since March due to COVID-19 is a disgrace. Trump's attitude that “It will just disappear.” is to me, a slap in the face revealing that my life does NOT matter to him. He cares about unborn fetuses only if it will bring in votes for him in this election. For me, the issue of abortion is complex. As stated in the article, it “is heart-wrenching and grey in nature.” There are no easy answers. Maybe if life were so very precious in all ways we would have…
~A national plan to prevent the spread of COVID-19, a pandemic plan
~Common sense gun laws instead of school shootings that happen far too often
~Immigration policies that honor life and families instead of a wall
~Universal healthcare and access to birth control and drug treatment programs for all who need it instead of unsafe, illegal abortions and drug-addicted babies and increased overdose deaths
~Improved laws and justice for all Americans with care for the whole community from law enforcement
~Care for the poor and homeless, including moms who want to have their babies and keep them
~A living minimum wage
~Prison reform so that lives can be transformed
~Care for the living planet we share, ALL of us!
~Black lives matter. As white, privileged Americans, we have to understand how we have continued to suppress people of color sometimes without knowing it.
The fourth essential is: Love From A Distance
This to me was the most important essential that I learned from reading Chris’s article. I do have some friends and family who are Trump supporters and I need to learn to navigate that and maintain my self-respect to keep myself healthy. I also think that we must keep our conversations centered on the core issues with integrity, knowing that even if we can do that, it may become emotionally and physically exhausting. “Personal boundaries need to be set and respected”, comments Kratzer.
It can be difficult to try to “agree to disagree” and to listen and ask, “Help me understand why you feel this way…” This can only go so far. Sometimes we must walk away from the situation and put some emotional and physical space between us. Chris says, “It may be very important to continue to assert your views but from an emotional and even physical distance. To do so is not giving up or bowing down to their views. Instead, it’s either creating space to stay in the game for the long term or acknowledging that the circumstances are simply beyond your influence.”
I take some solace in this line especially, “Thankfully, where possible, loving from a distance can allow the needed separation without completely abandoning the relationship.”
After I took down the post and decompressed for a few minutes, I wrote some more in my journal. I was very fearful that the article would be taken the wrong way, yet I had put it “out there”. I wrote out my fears that “if someone read it and misunderstood my intent, interpreted it as hateful and that had damaged relationships…fear that the words would negate the things I believe were true in the article.” Then I let it simmer for a couple of weeks. I am free to speak my words with integrity if I take time to process. I should have processed before hitting “send” and hurting a member of my family.
I still think Chris’s article is excellent. So much of what he said resonated with me. His final words were: Grace is Brave, Be Brave. I was not brave enough to leave it up on Facebook, but I am posting it differently here today. I cannot be completely silenced by my fear.
Words are important.
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden light.”- Matthew 11:29-30 (NIV)
“Learn the unforced rhythms of grace…” -Matthew 11:29-30(MSG)
“Grace is Brave, Be Brave”
You can read Chris Kratzer’s article here: http://chriskratzer.com
