It creeps up on me so quickly and I am never ready for the feelings that hit me when it arrives. The days are getting shorter and shorter, the skies have been gray and dreary all week and suddenly it dawns on me...oh yeah, it's November...and it all comes flooding back to me!
It is always amazing to me how everything that happens seems to start in November, situations and events in my life have left me stuck in despair, crisis, anxiety, and sorrow. My mind has been battling with these thoughts all month and hence my lament...."Ah-h-h-h November!"
To name a few, so that you don't think I am a whiner....
November 1986-bed-rest and fear for the life of my baby
November 1994-death of my father
November 1995-daughter breaks neck in gymnastics accident
November 2008-fear for health of father-in-law
November 2009-heart failure diagnosis, needed pacemaker
November 2009-dear friend loses battle with cancer
November 2012-mom in hospital after a fall
So I have made my list and I am doing my best to shake the gloomy feelings and turn my attitude around as I face another Thanksgiving this year. It never ceases to amaze me how God uses the difficulties and the grief, the sorrow and the despair, the anxiety and the crises to draw me to Him and to show me answers to prayer and His love for me.
I was in the hospital on the anniversary of my dad's death with my mom, who had fallen and injured her hip. She was in a great deal of pain and I sighed and said something like,
"I don't like November, it makes me feel sad and depressed. I have too many memories that bring me down." (I was whining again!)
My mom, bless her heart, responded,
"I love November! Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I have so many wonderful memories of days spending time with family and close friends. I never minded the work. I enjoyed cooking food and celebrating. I have so much to be thankful for!"
Leave it to an almost 87 year old to take my "gloom and doom" attitude and turn it around and show me that the "gloom and doom" can be turned on its head to be a blessing.
So, as I look at my list and I review my depressing thoughts...if I put a new twist on them, I see with a new perspective...
My son, Michael, is alive and happy today. He will celebrate his 26th birthday next week. His very life is a miracle and a blessing.
My daughter, Michelle, survived and thrived after her accident in 1995. She is a loving mom to my two beautiful grandchildren. Her recovery was evidence of answered prayer.
My son, Matthew, is going to be a father in only a few short weeks! A new life and grandchild to bring life and hope into the world.
My dad and my dear friend were called home to be with God and is to my amazement are still with me in so many ways. Their lives have impacted me and shown me love.
My father in law has recovered from his illness and many prayers have been answered. He is now active in church, a miracle of its own!
My heart still beats and I have regained some of my strength back with the help of the pacemaker. I am so thankful for that one medical miracle that has kept me going.
My mom is recovering from her fall at a local rehab facility. She is well cared for and motivated to return to her home. More evidence has been shown to me that prayers are answered.
So as I approach Thanksgiving Day this year, I am reminded that I do have so very much to thank God for this day. I am glad it is November again. I am grateful for the blessings!
"Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, Rejoice! ...Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:4
