New Life, New Chance

July 12, 2008
6:15 AM
Jack Douglas entered the world. He has certainly rocked mine as now I am a grandmother! What an awesome experience! I am in love and the world looks bright now that he is here! Praise God for the many blessings He has bestowed upon my family this month! Amazing!

Fixing my eyes on the Unseen

"Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  2 Corinthians 16-18

Serenity and Sunflowers

His mercies begin afresh each morning.

Just one day after leaving, my son calls again and with tears and a contrite attitude, he asks if he can come home.  I say to him as only a mother can say, "Of course, come on home."

Yet even with some wonderful moments over the weekend, still the man-child is acting out. Police call, he comes in late.  His dad takes care of it so he won't get arrested and thrown into jail. (Controlling? Enabling?)  He is asleep in his room.  At least for this moment I know he is safe.  

Today I am just feeling so incredibly anxious.  Things are not going well in my home with my son and I know there is nothing I can do, there is no "thing" to do, there is only sitting and prayer and asking my Lord to lift me up and help me, to take this burden from me and at least share this heaviness of heart that I'm feeling.  

Psalm 5:1-3

O Lord, hear me as I pray

pay attention to my groaning.

Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God.

for I pray to no one but you.

Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord.

Each morning I bring my requests 

to you and wait expectantly.

Somehow, someway, I know You have the answers that I need to stay "among the sunflowers".

That wonderful place of serenity that only You can give me today.  Yesterday in church, pastor spoke of the burdens of life and being able to carry them with You by our side.

"Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for  your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11: 28-30 

When YOU take up this burden with me I know I can find that peace that passes all understanding.

A Freedom only God can give

With a sickness in my entire body, I told him that he needed for look for another place to live. It was with much sadness that he left, taking with him many of his belongings, his car and guitar.  The house was quiet after he left, except for the sounds of my tears and those of his father.  

This morning during my devotions, God pointed me to a verse in Acts 20 verse 31-32:

 "Watch out! Remember the three years I was with you--my constant watch and care over you night and day, and my many tears for you.

And now I entrust you to God and the message of his grace that is able to build you up and give you an inheritance with all hose he has set apart for himself."

That is what I do today, I entrust him to God and trust that the message of grace will be able to build him up when my efforts always have failed.

I slept peacefully last night. Today is the 4th of July.  I am grateful for my freedom here in the USA.  I am free only through God in all other areas of my life.

A Second Chance

HOPE

Last night at a meeting, we were sharing our thoughts on someone's testimony.  A life lived trying to work the 12 steps, deal with the devastation of addiction and alcoholism, is shared and commented upon.  A wise woman who has lived the program for many years commented that although she hadn't always gotten things right with her daughter while she was growing up, she has learned a great deal along the way.  She feels that God gave her a second chance to get things "right" when He blessed her with grandchildren.  I was so touched by that thought.  I am soon going to be blessed with the birth of baby Jack.  With that life changing event, I will have a second chance for teaching, loving, acceptance and guidance.  I can let God handle the life of Michael and I need not obsess over it.  I must relinquish his life into the hands of the Holy Spirit.  My life focus at this moment will be new life, a fresh start, a second chance to be something special, something better for my grandson.  If God is willing to give me that gift.  I breathe deeply and TRUST HIM.  

A Prayer Answered

I was stressing last night because of unanswered phone calls and I was startled by the ringing of Doug's phone not long after I posted the prayer.  God is truly attuned.  Mike was for the moment safe. Thank  you.  Still today the field of sunflowers feels far away, yet I still yearn to turn my head toward the light and follow.  Give me the serenity of the sunflower patch today.  Help Mike to see the serenity of the sunflower patch also.  Un campo de girasoles...maravilloso.

A poem by Mike,

Among the Sunflowers

With sun above

and sun below

we looked out with longing to be

Among the Sunflowers

A mother who is tired

A son who is restless

find a solemn peace together

Among the sunflowers.