Real People

Photo by Henry Winokur

It has been a long time since I've posted here...But none-the-less, my mind has been going non-stop about so many things.  One of the suggestions that I got from a workshop I attended said to focus on a “moment”...and elaborate on that moment. Unfortunately for me...a “moment” leads to a lifetime and there are not enough words to express all of that!

 

My dear father in law passed away on May 2, 2015.  We kind of knew this was about to happen and were prepared as best we could be.  My husband was surprised by the sadness he felt and still feels about losing his father.  Today has been a hard day for him right from the start because the memories just keep on coming.  It is Father's Day. (Here I paused….)

I came up to my "office" to check on something quickly...on the computer...and here I find myself, reading an old letter and drifting back in time...again and losing my train of thought for the moment.  It was too hard to write the story on Father’s Day, so I put the writing away and saved it.  Here in my computer’s newly expanded memory, the thoughts sat and a month has gone by!  

Here I go again, the day after our 41^st anniversary, attempting to write about how I felt during these precious moments.

As we were cleaning out drawers at my in-laws house, my husband happened upon a letter he had written on October 19^th, 1970. He found it in the bottom drawer of the nightstand next to his father's side of the bed.

Now, for your information, my husband's father was not sentimental at all, but for some reason he had held on to this letter.  It was next to a folded up napkin from our wedding, July 20, 1974.

“Dear Mom and Dad, Kim and Jennifer too!”

Isn’t it something special that we had to write letters back in the 70’s to our parents while we were away at college? I recall making a weekly phone call home on Sunday evening when the long distance rates were cheaper.  It’s a tradition I have kept up all my life, calling mom on Sunday evening at least once a week.  We wrote letters too! Poured our hearts out to our parents, boyfriends, sisters, and grandparents.  There was something special about hand written letters and this letter must have been important because it had been saved in a special place.  Doug said to me when he found it, “Come here and check this out!” Then he quickly folded it up and put it back in the envelope and said, “Never mind”! (He probably wasn't sure where the letter was leading with the mention of an old girlfriend..)

This sudden change of attitude peaked my interest, so when we got home a few days later, I read the letter silently to myself and discovered what the mystery was all about.  In the letter, he had outlined for his parents all of the activities he and his hometown girlfriend had participated in during the Homecoming festivities and it sounded like they had a great time! He also described difficulties he was having with his roommate and how they were going to split up and move in with other people.  He explained how hard he was studying and how difficult the classes were that he was taking at the time. He mentioned that the sciences were extremely difficult and that he was “running out of study time that’s ‘cause there is so much to learn.”  Then finally he says, “I’m still enrolled in college.”

The letter gets more interesting towards the end… and this is the part that touches my heart and makes me realize what a sweet young man he was when we first met.

He starts talking about “People” and writes, “People are just as important as studies and I have met some great individuals…people I love…not just acquaintances.  REAL PEOPLE.”

My experience of college dorm life, classes and meeting new people was much the same…you met really great people and you had time to talk to them and get to know them and you LIVED with them on a day to day basis.  They became like your family, your sisters and brothers, your neighbors and your confidantes.

Then he writes to his parents…

“I have also met a girl. (You knew I was leading up to that, didn’t you mom and dad?)”

“Her name is Gail Parker.”

He wrote this letter to his parents to tell them about meeting ME! This is so special! He wanted to tell his family that he had met someone he loved, a new girl, and he told them my name! So nostalgic and sweet, I began to feel those feelings of butterflies and anxiousness and the feeling of falling in love all over again! 

“I don’t see her much but…but I DON’T KNOW. I am anxious for you to meet her…she makes me feel…HAPPINESS…that means a great deal to me.  ON & ON & ON I COULD GO ABOUT HER BUT YOU WOULDN’T GET THE PICTURE. I’ll send a picture, how’s that?” 

What a precious memory…the time we were first dating and I made him feel HAPPINESS (all caps!). I hope I still do. 

We have been married now for 41 years. That is a long time and a short time.  We have raised three children and now are blessed with 4 beautiful grandchildren! As anyone who knows us knows…we’ve had some highs and lows but we have always remained committed to one another and to our family.  We have held onto our faith and each other through all of it. What an amazing ride we have had together! And what a treat to find this precious memory tucked away in a drawer!